Last night my husband was arrested for domestic violence against me and assault against my mom and friend. He was really drunk, he trashed our room, and if my friend wasn't there, I think he might have killed me. He just gave me my keets 2 days ago for X-mas. Hes in jail right now, and the more I don't see him, the more I miss him and want everything to go back the way it was. I know I can't stay with him, hes hit me 3 times before this, and I just kept thinking it would get better. I have to think about my 9 mo. old daughter too. Its dangerous when he drinks. I just love him so much, this is so hard. I have to keep myself from fogiving him.....At least Ezra still makes me smile.

oh man ... im so sorry to be reading this amaggiepie ... please look out for you and your daughter and NOTHING else ... i duno the situation but if he has abused you ... id say no matter what the situation he isnt worthy of you ... leaving is hard beleive me i know ive been there before ... but you have got to find a way ... be strong ... if i were you id start making plans and get in contact with some shelters or organizations that help women in your situation.

it is never ok to be hit or abused in any way ... never ever ...and im sure you know this ... but please look out for you and your baby above all else ...

Helwa is right. You need to think about your daughter above all else. I've been in an abusive relationship and as much as you love someone and wishe they would change, it doesn't always happen that way. They have to want it for themselves as well. Ask him to go to rehab, for his own good, and for the good of your family. If he refuses then tell him that you have no choice but to leave him and take your daughter with you, be firm!! If he's serious about his family he'll come around, and if he doesn't then you're better off without him! The best of luck to you. Merry Christmas!
***AND REMEMBER: IT'S ABOUT YOUR DAUGHTER, HER SAFETY AND WELL BEING, WHEN YOU HAVE CHILDREN IT'S THEM ABOVE ALL ELSE***

I am sorry that you are having to deal with this. I also agree with Helwa. You need to get help for your daughter and yourself. If you believe that he could have killed you, then this is a very serious situation. While he is in jail, you should take the time to do whatever you need to do to keep yourself and your child safe. Here are some links to get some help. The first one is for information on how to get a protective order so that you can stay safe. I see that you are in Maryland so I linked to that state.

http://www.womenslaw.org/MD/MD_main.htm

This second one has phone numbers for shelters and help in your state.

http://www.mnadv.org/dv_providers.html

Please, get help as soon as possible. If this has happened this many times, it is not going to stop. There are other alternatives than just simply ending the marriage. It could be alcohol abuse or anger issues and help could be sought for those issues. But, before you try to fix this alone, you need the help of professionals who are trained in issues such as this. They can help you get help for him and yourself at the same time. Together with the right people you can talk to him in a safe situation about getting help for his drinking. But please, you can't do it alone. Get help for yourself and your family. Best wishes and stay safe.

Please listen to animalfriend and helwa you can't change someone else all you can do is change yourself.
You have no control over what someone else does that's why its your responsiblity to make sure you and your daughter are safe.
You are your daugthers only hope because she is two young to help herself. And don't stay together because of her you won't be doing her any favor. All she will end up doing is to follow in your foot steps as that is what she will believe she deserves.
You are very lucky that he did not kill you this time next time you or your daughter or someone in your family may not be so lucky.
Put yourself in someone elses position and then tell yourself what you should do. Would you tell your grown daughter to stay with a guy like this?
Good luck and think very hard before you end up taking him back.
I would say don't do it unless he really really is serious and gets some professional help and not just going to one or two sessions. He is going to need lots of help.
And if you do say you love him by leaving him you may end up saving him from spending his life in jail for murder.

I agree, don't stay for the sake of your daughter. I hope my first post isn't unclear. I am absolutely not saying it is best to stay. If it were me in your shoes, I wouldn't even give the opportunity for change. I would be out of there. But everyone is different. I just wanted to make it understood that there aren't 2 choices in the matter:leave or stay. Sometimes people think that their only choice is to leave, and that keeps them in the relationship. But there are resources available for you to give him the choice of getting help or you leaving. I just wanted to clarify a little bit. Lots of good advice here from everyone.

Would you tell your grown daughter to stay with a guy like this?
[quote=pretty bird]

I think that what prettybird said above brings your situation into perfect perspective. Look at your beautiful little daughter, think of her as an adult, and think of how you would feel if her husband treated her as abusively as your husband treats you. I know you love your husband - but you have to love yourself and your daughter too. It's been statistically proven that men like your husband cannot get better on their own (as everyone here has said). And take it from me, I know how difficult it is to leave an abusive relationship (in my case, it was emotional abuse). The most loving thing you can do for your husband is to express some "tough love"...and it's gotta be for the long term...men like that are good at being repentant, but until he gets treatment, he'll only be sorry after he beats you (and possibly, later on your daughter) over and over again. My prayers are with you.

Everyone has given you very good advices here. Yes, please do so for your own sake and especially your daughter's. I hope you will make a wise decision after going through all this.

Best wishes!!!

Thanks everyone for all your advice. I have been thinking about it alot, and I have decided to get an annulment since it has been less than a year. I have also decided that if my husband wants to get treatment, I will be kinfd of a girlfriend--we can go to counseling together, he can go to alocholics anonymous, but we will live apart and not be married. I love him so much, and I really hope he can change, but I want to be sure Im not tied to him anymore. If this doen't work, I will definately not give him another chance. I just feel like I cant give up until I can say I have done everything, and this, professional help, is the last option we have. Again, thanks for all the advice.

Good for you I hope everything works out ok. Its going to be hard but hang in there it will get better for you as time goes on.
If you need to talk we are here. I'm proud of you!!!!!!!!