I just wanted to clarify to Janimal, and I have stated this before, that "filth" is a hate-word, and not one intended to build bridges, but rather to incense. Lisa does not want this board to use hateful, intolerant language, no matter what the cause/faith/behavior.

It's not about Christians. I may disagree with something like white supremacy, but I will still defend their right of assembly, for example, as per our founding laws.

It even may be that somewhere down the line, by not getting someone's back up, supremists (in this example) might even come to feel less hatred of "other" and embrace tolerance. That is my idealistic hope. Maybe I am very off-base in this. But I do believe more can be accomplished for the greater good by not using hate-speak.

So, back to Niki. Her journey is remarkable and valuable. We support her all the way in her explorations and insights!

But along these lines, Lisa has stated that everyone on the board has the same rules to follow as everyone else. She twice in this thread asked us to not use the word filth. PDM and I have to do what we can to ensure this. I have also received complaints about many other posts, but since they did not use language that was specifically hateful, I defended the posters. Maybe the many times I have defended everyone against such complaints, and upholded their right to respectfully state their opinion, should also be mentioned?

If there are further responses and posts about the language issue, let us please start a separate thread on that topic. I would like this topic to focus on Niki's relationship and her desire to strengthen her marriage.

Thanks!

Perhaps. Fire can not be fought with fire, for sure. But we can neither call something what it is not.

I would also, support everyone's right to assembly. But that doesn't mean I won't be right there with my picket signs as well!

For example, when Christian's picketed at that High school because they accepted gay people there. I support their right to assemble, do not support at all their message of hate and dissent. I will also "assemble" and have my own nasty words to share. =) Will it change someone? Maybe. But I'm not gonna dance around the fact that the are <insert many unpleasant words here>. And yes, it is a fact. Just as members of the KKK are many unpleasant words.

I'm kinda humbled out by the insistence on returning to me. It's a little embarrassing. Makes me feel like this huge egotist who needs attention and support! =( I just want to facilitate discussion. Whatever the topic. Whether it be on words that I used in this topic which I do think relates to this topic! Or something I added, like with my relationship. It's discussion, it's relevant, and it needs to be discussed.

If anyone makes another topic I will be upset. One about me, by me, is enough. Don't make me blush! I feel silly enough as it is. I was sharing in another forum about my experiences as an Atheist in a Christian college, and many people found it interesting, but it was too embarrassing to just type about myself and expect people to care. Hence why I just decided to start a blog and document my experiences. And if anyone cares, they can read that instead of having me clog up their forums with my stories!

I don't need anyone's support, believe me! I've lived long enough without it.

The only reason I started this discussion was because PDM asked me in one topic somewhere based on one of my comments if I could share my story, because PDM had noted changes in me. I answered that when I got to the point of "coming out of the closet," then I would share here. True to my word, I did!

So if anything, this is my "out of the closet" topic to the world. I guess it became such a big thing because people here on these forms contributed to that drastic change.

Anyway, I'm rambling now and embarassing myself. And I'm very tired. And I'd like to see if I can chat with the hubbie about something, anything, tonight before I sleep. So I'll stop now!

Don't be embarrassed that we are here to support you! It isn't egotism at all to be supported by your community. It is very natural and normal!

Women especially tend to shy away from being supported, and think it's a sign of weakness. That is often how we get overwhelmed by things. In most cultures, communities supported each other and helped each other with all sorts of things. We have lost a lot of that in modern times. We need to relearn that it is a sign of strength to accept support from your community.

It's not that you "need" it or in any way that you're weak! It's that you're strong, and we are here to help. We do care!

Also remember that your sharing helps *us* too. The more we learn about people and their lives, the more we can understand new situations we run into.

What you said here Niki is awesome:

"Just as members of the KKK are many unpleasant words."

You made me giggle out loud. I agree they are unpleasant words, and i think there are many things on the earth that are unpleasant words. And that is a funny, pleasant way to say it.

I am going to try to use that in daily conversation. I love it!

I was born to an atheist father and moral mother. I was encouraged to go to church in my youth, but not forced. I began a search of religions at an early age more out of curiosity than compulsion. My first affinity was Zen Buddhism. My last was Christianity. Now I am just spiritual. In our politically correct society it seems that the minute you hold to a sect or brand of religion you are labeled and pigeon holed. I don't understand the need to always seek our differences when clearly, it is our similarities that bind us. Religion can be a dangerous term due to zealots, fanatics and cultists who, for the most part, have turned their spirituality into a lifestyle that is pressed onto others for one reason or another. Every religion I have studied involves division of spiritualists. If you believe, good for you; if you don't believe, good for you. Spirituality involves converting yourself, not others. Love involves accepting yourself and others as they are. No matter what our "religious persuasion" we should love one another more than enough to let religiosity get in the way.

I like your post, Barak, and especially, "Now I am just spiritual."

And there are many perspectives on just what being spiritual means. I like that, also.

Where it concerns politics and religion, I believe less is more.

I agree completely that in the end it matters how you treat others, how you live your life and the things you do. What you label yourself or how others perceive your label really doesn't matter that much.

Someone could call themselves "Christian" and then speak with hate and anger, and not be following the ideals well.

Someone else could call themselves "spiritual" and spend their time caring for their neighbors, loving their enemy, spreading serenity and peace, and fully embody every positive "Christian Ideal" with their actions.

So I think the important thing when challenges come up between family members is to emphasize the ideals, emphasize the path you are going to walk.

I couldn't agree more, Lisa. Throughout my life, I have come to "recognize" spirituality in others - no matter what their nominal "label" or stated beliefs. And more and more, I trust what my heart (guts) tells me.

The "golden rule" embodies much more than religion. And for me, spirituality grows as I become more open to appreciating all aspects of the world around me. Even the things we perceive as "bad" are parts of life.