Wow, was the last post here really in February?

I guess I should post something just to see if it's still working.

So I'm doing a play, a comedy, and at one point my line is, "Jesus Christ, I'm in the shower." which is funny, because I'm off stage and walk back on soaking wet.

During rehearsals it was a bit awkward to say the line, not because I'm offended (I'm not a Christian), but because other people are, and I don't feel comfortable blaspheming the Christian deity. If the line were "Blessed Allah, I'm in the shower" or perhaps "Allah u Akbar, I'm in the shower," I'd probably be in hiding under a fatwa.

Could it be that Christians are generally more tolerant, and will accept that it's part of a play and not being blasphemous? I mean, it's not like I'm putting a crucifix in a bucket of urine and calling it art.

Food for thought.

LOL im a christian, and i think its funny, dont worry we say stuff like that alot too... at least i dont mind, maybe some people would be offended but i dont see why

usually its because the name JESUS CHRIST at that moment was not exactly said in a loving way...but with anger or disgust...thats why...or, like someone who is being called out or on the carpet because they were caught doing something wrong etc.

and Christians these days are of the less strict forms to the point its almost a shame to be known as one...they use their religion only when its convenient...a feel good moment ...not as it should be used.

Hi guys,

As I have said before, I think the true Christian faith is going from this world. Please stop steaming for just a few moments and put yourself in my shoes.

I was raised in a protestant church learning the KJV bible and listening to migraine inducing sermons from backwoods preachers every time the church doors were open but at the same time I saw corruption, deep sin and the deepest of the fallen in the private lives of my aunts and uncles thus especially my own mother and father.

My father, a deacon in the church at the time, was screwing an eighteen year old girl from the church the very night that I was born and his taste for "Ladies of the Night"(as he would so innocently call them) is the sole reason my mother and he got a divorce, shortly thereafter he got married to one of them. However good ole dad and the rest of that generation could go to church and pretend that they were the White and Holy lot on church hours.

My GrandFather and GrandMother are the only ones that have ever lived up to the bill of sale when it comes to their dedication to the Christian Lifestyle but for some reason their Children fell off the map and this is not just in the one Church. No this is too many for me to name, not that I am going to call names here. I know people who make their living off of the "Name of Christ" that I could destroy with the information I have on them but they would just come back and say "Well that was before I got saved." or something to that effect and then go about their business. The truth might hurt them but it would not kill them as it should.

Christianity is the only religion in history where a person can be a tyrant all his life and then go to heaven but be a sinless virgin all his life and go straight to hell.

Mbass pretend your in a time machine and go back 200 years to downtown Boston and then yell out "Jesus Christ" and you might find a differed response.

In the meantime I am done with that nonsense. I am no longer a conformist in that church. Beltane is in full swing and the moon is full on the fifth so there is much to celebrate.

Help All, Harm None and Live Life.

only time Christians can go straight to hell is with a denouncement of GOD.

Illusive I don't plan to argue with you and you know how much I love especially you so just to be clear I do not know what the plan is and I don't think that there is one person here on this planet that really does.

For instance the Church of Christ does not believe that Christians should have instruments in the church house because they are a distraction but the General Baptists sometimes have a whole band. The Southern Baptists wash feet but the Pentecosts believe that one man should not touch anothers body man or woman. Some of these are critical hell-bound differences and some are not but one thing is for certain and that is if it were not for the law of the land and the lack of time all of the different factions would be warring and killing much more than the shiites and sunnis have ever achieved.

I was raised to believe that if you are a christian and you die with sin on your conscience then christian or not it is a short ride to hell. There is no room in heaven for the backslidden and I believe that it is the same way in the Catholic religion as well.

hey i will not go into the Christian aspects was raised that (STRICT Catholic)and first chance i had to get away from it i DID...lol...wayyyyyyy to many contradictions and always when it was for the convenience of the believer or its CHURCH...and having a cousin CARDINAL CHOKE...and having myself taught at one time 6th grade CCD boys...believe me when i say...we were taught noooooooo only if you TOTALLY denounce God then you went to hell.

besides kinda hard to condemn someone of errrm sins committed by the Father and the SON BOTH....i aint going there

and there is that nasty word again..."argue" i dont "argue" ...

You see illusive now that is exactly what I was gnawing at. A full blown Catholic will tell you that if you die without recieving last rights or without going to confession shortly before then your last sins will drag you to hell.

Monotheists have a monopoly on living short brutal lives that are bound to send them straight to the bowels of fire. At least Hindus can look forward to living again and trying to get it right the next time and so can Buddhists. I feel like if there is a next life for me then it may be just as trivial as this one because the cycle of life never ends.

Chop, burn or even pull the forest up by it's very roots but over time you will watch it grow back just the way it was and that is the same way with the moon and the oceans, boil that water away and it will fall as rain - Cycles - Everything works in cycles.

The spirits are with us and they teach us that everything is alive and never really dies. Science has tried to take away our imaginations but for me the more I know the more I want to know so my belief in the other world becomes more concrete every day.

i absolutely with solid convictions believe in life beyond this...to what level now who knows in reality but ..nah it doesnt end here ...

The forums still work! ;D Awesome! Hi guys!

Mbas, what's the context of the line? Like is it "Hey Jesus, I'm in the shower!" or "JESUS CHRIST... I'm..." Just curious.

Sounds like fun. Would love to know how it goes! What's the whole skit about? I think it'll be fine. Doesn't sound like anything offensive to me.

Niki,

You are barking up the wrong tree, for MBAS rarely ever goes into that much detail. But I have a comment if you would like to hear it?

Well I don't know if you would or not but here you go anyways. When I were a kid I worked a great deal with my Papaw(the Christian one) in his garden, yard as well as on his farm especially during the summer. One day we were rewrapping green beans around poles and tying them with cotton string when I looked down and saw that the sump had been opened(this part of his garden was in a low part of the yard so one corner of the tillage had a deep hole with a gravity drain leading out to the creek about 700 yards away). Anyway I pulled up the cover in order to check it for leaves and stuff and just when I did I yelled "Oh Jesus", then seconds after that my Papaw was beating me with a tobacco stick, quoting scripture to me "Thou shalt not take the lords name in vain.", "Where do you think you are?", "You know better than that." he shouted.

Shortly thereafter I showed him what scared me so badly - There was a 72" copperhead less than 16" from my hand and face coiled up in that sump and I was dumb enough to move the cover off of it without looking. I still have the skin! After we killed him I fed the meat to the hogs just grinning the entire time, and then I pinned the skin up to the barn wall with finish nails and put linseed oil on it - olive oil works better but we did not have any.

My point is that while MBAS said "Jesus Christ, I'm in the shower." he is supposed to say it in an agitated way which would not be kosher with especially the older Christian generations.

laughing my butt off here ...if EVER there was a time to say that it would of been THEN in my opinion....i think even GOD would of over looked that one....i probably would of said a lot worse...like JUMPING JESUS...AND MORE.

I'll tell ya I wasn't laughing. Heart attacks don't really happen at that age but I felt my heart stop and then my arse catch on fire but to be honest with you I would still rather tangle with the Copperhead instead of my Papaw. I still got the last laugh though because that Goldenback is rolled up on a piece of rubber tubing in my gun safe.

Sure enough though his first reaction was to start swatting me with that tobacco stick, and tobacco sticks are not small either (3/4" X 3/4" X 4-5' usually made of twisted poplar or honeylocust) and that bloody thing hurt. Glad yoou got a laugh out of it Illusive

yah ive seen beatings done like that mongrel and with willow switches too and cat-o-ninetails the welts they leave...ask me i got my fair share of welts too from my mom...but i still get a laugh out of one time tho when it backfired on her...and she accidentally whupped herself on the shoulder....never forget those times...was harsh but i think it made us better somehow...

and not laughing at you getting whupped ...but at how skeered ya must of got and like i said ...justifiably so...id of done the same as you...and kept the skin too...

think of it this way...that snake would of done worse to ya than that tobacco stick...and there was a sort of lesson of wisdom gained from it all...poke around fore ya go looking at something you cant see...

yah know ...thats why dogs and some other animals walk in circles before they lay down...OLD instincts.

hey mongrel dont take offense it wasnt meant that way ok??? Bet we both could share some stories... one of my pearls of wisdom learned is never sit on a stump or downed logged without poking around first...and do a good job of it too...another is ...never ...ever...sit in a fresh mowed field with shorts on ...man thats just asking for it big time...

You mean you were beat with one of these? -



Just kidding I know you were joshing about that one but the willow is another story altogether. Ya know I have tried to get a couple of 8 month Willows to grow in my yard but they have both died - Guess the chemistry is just all wrong. My grandmother used to peel the bark off of her's and chew it during the summer. She said it helped her with her "Lady Problems".

You remember that ole bunch of bull that mom or dad would throw in there about how it hurt them more than it would hurt you? I still get a kick out of that line and my father knows it. I certainly don't mind people laughing at that story - as a matter of fact humor is why I tell it.

You know I never really have thought much about why Dogs walk in a circle before they sit, lay or squat. My oldest golden has this really long hind leg hair so he makes a helicopter move before taking a shat just so the hinny hair is out of the way. That really is some good information to have and it will stick with me from now on when I am hiking or scouting the farm. My beautiful wife and I are going to Colorado this year for some mountain biking for Lughnasadh just to get out and about. Hopefully I can convince her to bunk in tents this time so we actually get some miles racked up, plus it's a lot cheaper and less of a bloody hassle - no tourist traps.

By the time we got around to killing that Golden back that day he was madder than a hornet. I suppose the hoe was a little warm from sitting in the sunlight because he lit into it three or four times before I got him pinned down and clipped his head off with my Weblo Knife. Papaw kept the head, on a window seal, for a while but some mice got it and ate the skin off of it so it finally found the garbage can after a while.

These days I actually like having some snakes around the yard. I see rat snakes pretty often or the occasional garter thus they are a true benefit to us but if I have any doubts as to what kind it is then I usually try to find its den and wipe it/them out.

i never bother the harmless snakes and dont mind them at all and nooo ya brat thats not what it was in that picture it was made of 1/4 in thick leather with several long thin strips hence the name cat-o-nine tails...smart like heck too...

i never heard that saying come out of my mothers mouth actually as i think in some warped way she actually enjoyed doing that...there was a LOT of running in circles around the kitchen table to stay away from her ..and up and over beds and in the bathroom and locking the door etc...sure stayed thin back then...giggle

willow need a LOT of water or some really boggie type soil to thrive in ...keep trying but find a really wet spot...red willow ya peel the bark and it has aspirin like qualities. red willow is actually pussy willow.

and on tents...do not put anything against the fabric will cause leaks inside during rain ...i prefer canvas tents altho omg it gets really hot in them when sun beats on them but waaaaaaaay more sturdy and waterproof too...what do you use for bedding in yours...i always made sure i was off the ground in the old type of army cots...

hope you guys have a really really great time camping out and i agree campgrounds much cheaper people more friendly too...not snobbish...and helpful ready to share whatever they have with you if you need it...made some awsome friends when i use to camp...good memories cept for a bad storm one time and both my kids got hit with lightning but thank gawd were not hurt and another woman in her trailer dang near was washed off the side of the hill it was teeter totering and my EX and a another camping buddy rescued her and her two kids out of it just in time...that storm was so bad it washed out the entire road leaving the place too so we were all stuck there for a bit ...left a hugeeeeeee gauge across the road...but campers are very very innovative and creative ...SURVIVORS so we were fine and not toooo shook up...

be well tc...ttyl BRAT giggle

P.S. i was the ONLY WOMAN EVER to be allowed to teach weblo kids...lol...and boy i taught them...REAL survival techniques too not like what they teach these kids these days with things totally really useless..and ya know what...when my son moved up the ladder of scouting and a guy took them camping he was the ONLY one who pitched his tent in a spot from what he learned that was safe and a storm came up and all the others got washed out so allllll the troop piled into my sons tent that nite...like i said i dont know where now a days they get their camping and survival skills from but gawd...they even get lost for gawd sakes...should be test before you become a scout leader...not for the kids either...for the supposed leaders...my son saved the whole troop that nite and told them how ma taught them always pitch on high ground..know which direction storms come from and place the BACK of the tent facing that way...not the side or the front...poor kid only had a four man tent and there were 8 total in it all nite...he said ma..ya didnt know whose legs where who's and of course there was NO sleeping so he came home dog tired.

We're goin to Colorado with some of my friends from OBOD, their part of the Nashville sect Celli Sanctaidd O Gerridwen A Lleu. My wife's father has a large six man tent made from canvas but it is way too heavy to take on a deep ride. My pack is about sixty pounds over all and after four or five hours I feel like it weighs two hundred of course I get to carry the pots and pans.

The tent we use is a Helix, I think, two man and it breaks down to about the size of an umbrella. I usually take my goose down sleeping bag and a mat though it rarely gets cold enough around here to need it. I have not really needed them since my caving days. The wife and I used to hike a few miles every weekend the first few years of marriage but she was never much on sleeping under the stars.

According to your description I planted the willows in a bad place. The next time I try I plan to till a six foot diameter partition, scoop out the dirt and then till it a foot deeper while adding some am_monium nit_rate and chicken poo - then install one of those seeping water hoses. I will buy a year tree this time and water it daily. Our land is well drained if it is anything.

That lash you speak of sounds pretty serious especially for a kid. If I had ran from a whooping then it would have turned into a beatin and believe me there is a difference.

am_monium nit_rate and chicken poo ??? Im not at all sure it would need that...they like acidic soil not akaline also...

i know the difference of a beating and a licking or whooping..any when implements like you and i are mentioned its a ***beating.

dont you have those boy scout collapsable pans and such that all nestle together???? very light to pack...and yah on a 6 man canvas tent being heavy...id say a four man or definetly a two man would be better and when they say two or four they mean it as opposed to other tents listed as four you really better figure two ...and a two man you better figure one....the way they list them id say yah if you dont have one other dang thing in them cept a human body lol...geeeeeeesh

Hi MBAS

That line would offend my Mum

Hi Niki

Yes, they work, but religion doesn't seem to be as popular as parakeets, these days

Hope all's well!

As a child I was always told that a Gentleman never argues of politics, war or religion while in the company of strangers. "This always leads to ill-feelings." and then there was church on sunday and one is supposed to go out and praise the Lord to anyone and everyone, thus (I assume the overall opinion is that) nowadays one is supposed to be FOR the republicans because all of the other parties are socialist tit-suckers that will rob everybody else blind of their money, and war is the product of our christian state needed to rid the world of Islam!

Hey I try to do my part to make this thread interesting.

thanks for the HUGE LAUGHS AND GIGGLES i so needed that ...and you always provide..

I still hold the door for ladies, stand when a lady enters the room during dinner and take my hat off for my elders and superiors but more than likely they will still hate me before the meal, conversation or greeting is over.

My doctor thinks it's funny because I always take my hat off when I go to shake his hand but I think he is a very elegant and accomplished gentleman. However if he was to insult my wife I would take my hat off and cold cock him so you see respect is a two way street.

Respect, in itself, is a form of "Religion" that very few people practice these days and even fewer people teach, preach or understand. Just Wednesday I was walking out of McDonalds and I held the door for an older lady(about 85 with a cane and sickly) who had a Girl(I assume Maiden) with her, I would assume who's age was about twenty. I held the door for the Crone but the Maiden thought I was hitting on her and gave me a dirty look(with her wickedly ugly face which was made for radio in the first place)and she said "I have a boyfriend." I was unable to help myself when I replied to her "Good for you, bad for him."

Forty years ago the girl would have understood that I was just doing what I was supposed to do and she would have been grateful I mean the old lady understood?

PS: It has been my experience that people in the northeast, east, southeast and midsouth(texas and plains states) are usually very schooled in practical mannerisms. New Englanders and Anyone from Europe usually has excellent manners and the men will usually consider themselves "Gentlemen" and the Women-"Ladies" however it is just my opinion that as I said before it is a dying "religion"/practice.

its dying because most women dont know how to ACT like ladies therefore most men are NOT gentleman...and IF the "gentleman" doesnt do these things she the "lady" should WAIT for him to do it...and kinda shoot him a grin with a look like WELLLLL what are you waiting for...

most women reach for the door themselves or their own coat instead of handing the coat to the man will put it on herself or she is the one to pull out the chair instead of just standing there an wait for him to do it...

also that womens lib crap goes to far for both parties.

I open doors for people ~ male or female ~ and say 'thank you', if they open doors for me (though I admit that this used to annoy me) but I would not expect a man to pull out a chair for me, or help me with my coat ~ not unless I were having some difficulty with it.

It's just habit/upbringing. kinda like watching that Yellow Lab of my neighbor's avoid cars on the road - we just do it cuz we wuz trained that way and it's kinda funny to watch.

im not sure "trained" is the word to use with humans...taught maybe

I will have you know that my Goldens have "trained" me quite nicely - I hardly miss the toilet bowl anymore!

Thank you very much.

i keep saying when i feel a need for some laughs and giggles you will always not disappoint

Sorry, been away for a bit.

The context of the line was that I was hunting around in the dark, banging into walls, etc. looking for a door. I finally find a door (I think) with a handle and it turns out to be a shower.

So I'm frustrated and blort out "Jesus Christ, I'm in the shower."

ok so maybe JESUS was telling you something giggle....omg mbas your killing me here...